Q: My husband and I are in our late sixties and would love to breathe new life into our sex life. I am experiencing a lack of libido and vaginal dryness, while my husband seems to have trouble maintaining an erection. Please could you offer us some natural and practical advice? Thank you. A.G
DR SANDI NYE REPLIES:
While there may be merit in the premise that sexual desire resides between the ears, it also resides in other body parts, and is reliant on various bodily functions, especially as one ages.
Firstly – the fact that you’re both still interested in keeping love alive between the sheets is a major asset in combatting some of the issues you mention. Since the brief for this response is 300 to 400 words, brevity will rule so I’ll focus primarily on the lack of libido, vaginal dryness and erection aspects of your letter.
Hormones change as one ages and along with such changes come some of the problems you’re both experiencing. On that front, bio-identical hormone replacement therapy (BHRT) can be very useful to modulate oestrogen and testosterone, for example. Dosages need to be carefully calculated and monitored by a qualified health professional who is experienced in working with this form of medication. The results can be quite dramatic for both men and women.
Vaginal dryness often goes hand-in-glove with diminishing libido, and can become a bit of a catch-22 because if intimacy is painful libido often flies out the window. Post-menopausal displeasure – one of the accoutrements of crone-hood! One of the simplest, most inexpensive and effective lubricants to use for vaginal dryness is a thin dab of good old coconut oil. If tropical island fantasies aren’t your thing (virgin coconut oil has a distinctive tropical aroma) refined or odourless coconut oil will do the job just as well (and you won’t smell like a pina colada after making love!).
An aromatic mutual massage, some delectable dark chocolate nibbles, and a wee dram of whatever libation takes your fancy, combined with the above may also invite Aphrodite back into your boudoir!
More extensive advice will require a private consultation with your healthcare provider, during which time additional recommendations, which can be personalised according to your individual requirements, can be further explored and a tailor-made plan of action designed and implemented. Sometimes just being able to express concerns such as these to a practitioner or friend of similar age and gender is a great comfort and help. There’s often no better advice than that which comes from someone who has experienced what you’re going through.
May all soon be well – and don’t give up trying to find creative solutions to these (hopefully transient) obstacles. A happy, fulfilling love-life keeps the wrinkles at bay, and the heart fit and joyful!