These two poles can be termed likes and dislikes. The stronger these attachments are, the more distressed and anxious our lives become. Knowing how to calm those attractive and repulsive emotions down can reduce their effects. Stress is actually a feedback mechanism to help us to be more authentic, productive and inspired, or more balanced or poised with our perceptions.
Infatuations and/or resentments can occur in any of the seven areas of our lives and can be connected to anything that is perceived as offering more challenge than support or more support than challenge; business deals, relationships, family situations, and fantasies of anything that is unrealistic.
In order to assist people in neutralising the often highly emotionally charged effects of distress, I have developed a methodology which is basically a series of questions designed to neutralise the emotional charges caused by these infatuations and resentments, in order to bring back balance and poise. The Method contains a total of 48 questions; however, the first three below will assist in dissolving some of the distress caused by highly charged emotional responses to infatuations or resentments:
1. If something has happened where we see more challenge than support, it’s wise for us to ask what the benefits to us are. It is essential not to stop asking this question until we have managed to balance the perceived negative aspects with benefits. This will neutralise our emotional and distressing charge. There are truly equal benefits to every situation and action. I have dealt with thousands of cases, involving some of the most challenging events that could occur and have consistently found a balance of benefits to drawbacks once an honest and thorough investigation was pursued.
2. We then would be wise to ask ourselves where we do that particular challenging action. We judge people more harshly when we are unable to see that what is in them is also in us. As Aristotle believed, the see-er, the seen and the seeing are the same. Every human being has every character trait in some form. I have seen this time and again during my seminars and workshops and through nearly four decades of research. Sometimes we are too proud or humble to admit that what we see in others is in fact inside us. When we keep looking we will find that we have done that same thing we are resenting and challenged by.
3. Finally, ask what the drawback would be if that particular event hadn’t happened. This is a powerful question to ask as it brings a new perspective into play in any situation.
We all deserve to have balance and this can be achieved quite easily by asking quality questions and not allowing our emotions and misperceptions to cloud our minds and unnecessarily distress our lives. This was one of the purposes of creating the Demartini Method – to transform poison into poise.
Editor's note: For more articles on anxiety, read Treating Anxiety and Mild Depression – the natural way and The A to Z of Nutrition can Calm our Anxiety