CONSCIOUS LOVEMAKING FOR OLDER PEOPLE
If you change the way you relate to your partner sexually you may find that sexual juices start to flow in new ways. Here are some suggestions for ways of making love that can work beautifully in later years of life.
Light, soft, full-body touch. Make a date with your partner to explore conscious lovemaking. Take turns to caress each other gently. The person who receives focuses on two things: deepening their breathing in a relaxed way, and enjoying the sensations of the touch. Become completely passive, receptive. If you are the person who gives the touch, do so with all your love, devotion and attention. Touch lightly, almost like a feather running all over the body – from the insteps of the feet to the tips of the fingers.
Breathing together. Lie next to your partner, belly to belly. Intertwine legs and embrace as is comfortable. I suggest putting your left hand on the back of your partner behind the heart, and the right hand on the lower part of his/her spine. Now start to breathe into your belly. Breathe deeply, and stay relaxed. Relax your chest especially. If you are both breathing into your bellies, you will feel each other’s bellies as they expand. After a while alternate breathing. When your partner breathes out, you breathe in. When s/he breathes in, you breathe out. Enjoy the pleasant sensation of bellies rising and falling.
Soft penetration. Penetration when the penis is soft can be a lovely and healing experience for both partners. You can help each other with this. If lubrication is needed, apply. Take the flaccid penis between your fingers. Open first the outer labia, and start to insert the penis. Then slowly, as the woman’s body responds, open the inner labia and insert the penis in deeper. Use fingers to take the penis in as far as is comfortable, and then just rest together. Now concentrate on feeling the subtle feelings that occur in the skin contact between the penis and vagina. Don’t try to do anything or go anywhere. Just feel. As feeling deepens, so will the body’s response.
Slow movement. Once both partners are ready, you can start to move slowly – the slower the better – gradually taking the penis deeper into the vagina, retracting it slowly, going deeper, slowly.
In conclusion, it is possible that your sexuality can enter a new flowering in later years of life. What it takes is attention to lifestyle and commitment to practising conscious intimacy.